


Ground and Center, Lover, Friend

by CalicoJane



Category: Valdemar Series - Mercedes Lackey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:41:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 6,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27649708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalicoJane/pseuds/CalicoJane
Summary: Kris realizes he's making mistakes on Talia's internship and asks Elcarth to send her to the one Herald he knows can win her trust--Dirk. This changes so much.
Relationships: Dirk/Talia (Valdemar)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 13





	1. Needing Help

**Author's Note:**

> All rights to Mercedes Lackey. The italicized paragraphs in the first chapter is from Arrows Flight and inspired the rest of this story.
> 
> Special thanks to Leannmanderson for helping turn this from a spark into an outline.

_Kris rode in silence, only now beginning to realize that by not giving her a little comfort and encouragement that he had made a nearly fatal mistake. Her self-esteem was far more fragile than he had guessed. And her nerves were plainly gone. Now he thought he knew why she would venture no judgments at all, and gave him her opinions hesitantly, and only when directly asked for them._

_When he asked her, back at the Station, she avoided answering all questions about how she was feeling, answering only that she was "all right." He began to wonder if she'd ever recover from the incident... and he began to fear that he'd ruined her._

Kris knew something had to be done to repair Talia’s self-esteem and confidence, and he didn’t think he was the Herald for the job, she would barely look at him and flinched if he spoke too loud. No, she needed a more expert teacher, in fact he could think of only one Herald gentle enough to be likely to gain trust with her. In desperation he wrote off a quick letter to the Collegium and left it at temple to be taken by courier to Haven.

~~

Elcarth did not understand Kris’ letter. He seemed to be begging that Talia be reassigned to Dirk. The letter said that he feared Talia would never recover from his ineptitude at teaching, and she _needed_ an experienced, gentle, guide such as Dirk.

Well, Keren had told him it would never work, assigning Talia to Kris. He had hoped she would get over her man-shyness but it appeared the opposite was happening. With a sigh, he wrote two orders, one to Dirk letting him know he was getting an intern, and one to Talia telling her to head South.

~~

“You requested that I be reassigned?” Talia asked Kris in a small and shy voice as she looked at her new orders. She’d known she was disappointing him, but she hadn’t realized it was by that much. Or maybe it was that he didn’t trust her.

“I’m not the right counselor for you Talia,” he was distressed but she couldn’t tell if it was having to explain himself or the situation. “I’ve failed you so much,” his guilt started battering her thin shields. “Since we started you’ve become withdrawn, nervous. You’re reluctant to speak to me. I know it’s my fault, but I don’t know how to fix it. Dirk will.” Talia was overwhelmed by guilt: his guilt at not having helped her better, her guilt at letting him think it was his fault instead of telling him the truth about her shields, it was all she could do not to burst into tears.

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak.

“Come on, I’ll help you sort through what Rolan should carry and what you should send down my mail carrier,” Kris said.


	2. Rendezvous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talia meets up with Dirk in the south and the first of many confessions are made

Talia rode South in the morning. Since it was just her and Rolan they could make good time. Those of her things Rolan couldn’t carry, including My Lady, would be send by mail carrier to a resupply station on the Circuit she and Dirk would be riding. She wanted to believe things would be different with Dirk, but she couldn’t see how.

She stayed in way stations rather than inns in an effort to avoid the press of other people’s minds on hers. If she hadn’t been so worried about what lay ahead she would have enjoyed the journey. As it was worry and depression hung over her like a storm cloud.

Finally, she arrived at the rendezvous point, scared and nervous.

Dirk had been confused ever since he got Elcarth’s letter. What could possibly be going on that forced Kris to request Talia be transferred to him? He got the impression Elcarth didn’t even know. Part of him was unreasonably pleased at the news, he forced those emotions down; he should _not_ be pleased that something had gone wrong, even if it meant more than a year spent in Talia’s company. The rest of him was worried. Was Talia okay? Was Kris? What could possibly have gone wrong? When he saw Talia, he was even more confused.

Gone was the confident Queen’s Own he’d met before; the brave girl who’d lead Kris to Ysla’s body or the collected and cool adviser to the Monarch who had presided over the ceremony for the Heir. In their place was a scared and nervous young woman who would barely meet his eyes. It reminded him of when he had first met when on the road to Haven and she’d been afraid he would arrest her for stealing Rolan. But somehow she seemed even shyer than she had then. Something had gone _very_ wrong then, and Talia was paying the price.

“Why don’t you see to Rolan and then come inside? I’ll get dinner finished and we can talk,” he said. She only nodded, her eyes cast down.

Dirk heard her come into the way stationright as he was finishing dinner. He dished the food into bowls and offered her one, taking the other for himself. He decided to wait till she had finished eating before questioning her, maybe she’d feel a tad bit better with some food in her stomach. When he saw her put her bowl down he decided it was time to start and he spoke in a gentle voice.

“The letter I got from Elcarth was kind of vague. Do you know anymore about what’s going on?” She shook her head, not looking at him, and he tried a different tact. “When I last saw you, you seemed different, what happened?” Talia burst into tears and Dirk felt an overwhelming sense of fear he realized was coming from her. He didn’t think it would be helpful to point out to her that she was projecting, not when she was feeling this much fear. Instead, he built up shields around her and shield her himself. “Sh, little bird,just tell me, whatever it is we can deal with it, together. Just tell me.” He said as he gathered her up into his arms and she buried her head on his shoulder.

“You shouldn’t help me! I shouldn’t even be a Herald!” She sobbed

“Where is that coming from?” Dirk asked shocked. “Has Rolan said something?”

“No, but everyone else has!”

“Well Rolan is the only one who’s opinion matters,” he said firmly. “But just so I understand, can you tell me what’s going on?”

“People at Court think I’ve been misusing my Gift—Kris told me.”

“People at Court have too much time on their hands.” He was rubbing her back now. “I have no idea what would possess Kris to bother you with Court rumors, but I assure you, they’ll blow over by the time you return.” What would possess Kris to tell her those rumors? What had that idiot been thinking? What good could he have hoped would possibly come from it?

She looked at him then. “So you don’t believe them then?”

He almost laughed. “Believe some spoiled highborn who says a Herald is misusing their Gift? No. No, I don’t. Why would you think that I would believe them?”

Her voice was almost inaudible when she said “Because Kris did.”

Dirk had to count his breaths to control his anger at his partner. On some level he knew he was irrationally protective of Talia, but the level of anger that rose up at his oath brother surprised some analytical part of him. The rest of him was either too angry at Kris or too worried for Talia to care why he felt the way he did.

How could Kris have done this to her? How could he take the ridiculous word of some courtier over a fellow Herald, and Talia at that? It was probably his unclewho told him the rumors, hoping to score points against Talia on Council. And Kris chose to believe family over the Circle. How could Dirk ever trust Kris again? Once he had calmed down Dirk spoke to Talia again. “Is that why your shields are down? You’re so off balance by Kris not believing you and you’re having trouble with your shields?” Talia’s head was buried in Dirk’s shoulder as she sobbed, but he could feel her nod. “Well luckily I’m a Gift teacher, between me and the Companions we’ll get you sorted out. But not tonight.”

He held Talia while she cried herself to sleep in his arms. Once he was sure she was deeply asleep, he lifted her up and carried her to one of the bed boxes. There he tucked her in, before going and finding his own bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's a short chapter!


	3. Ground and center

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gift training

Talia woke up the next morning with her head feeling stuffy from all the crying the night before. Dirk was already awake and appeared to be making breakfast. When she saw him she felt embarrassed over her outbursts the previous night. Why couldn’t she have just reported to him what was going on? Why did she have to cry herself to sleep not only in front of him but on him?

She sat up slowly and Dirk turned his head to her. “How are you feeling, little bird? If your head is clogged I should have some of my mother’s clear-head tea ready in just a few minutes.” Shyly she nodded and came over by the fire where he was cooking.

“I’m sorry about last night,” she said.

He looked slightly shocked. “Don’t be,” he said. “I’m glad you told me what was bothering you, I’m just sorry Kris was such an ass.” It seemed like he wanted to say more, but held off.

Talia sat down next to Dirk. “What am I going to do about my shields?” She asked.

“First off, the question is what are _we_ going to do. Second, let’s take things back a step. Are you able to ground okay?”

“Ground?” She asked, confused.

Dirk looked at her, concern showing on his face, “As in grounding and centering?”

“I’m…not familiar with that term,” she admitted.

Dirk was taken aback at this but tried not to show it. “Why don’t you tell me what kind of training you did for your Gift?”

“Well, after I was thrown into the river, my Gift woke up. Elcarth taught me to shield to keep the press of other people out. And then I took the Gift class with Ysla.”

Now Dirk was really concerned. “But Ysla’s class is for Mindspeakers, didn’t you get training from the Healers as well?”

“No,” Talia replied. “I spent time with them helping them with their patients, but they didn’t really train me.”

 _Hellfires_. “Alright, it seems there might be some gaps in your training then,” it was important that he remain calm, this was just an obstacle they could deal with like any other. And if he panicked it was liable to panic her. “So we’ll go back to the beginning and teach you from there. My specialty may be teaching Fetching but I’m familiar with how Healers are taught—my sister Silvia and I have discussed training methods enough. We’ll be able to get it to work.”

“Your sister’s a Healer?”

“Two of my sisters and my mother are all Healers. And my father’s a Bard. With me in the family we’ve got the whole trifecta of Collegium graduates!”

“Was your family happy when you were Chosen?” The question surprised Dirk, he couldn’t imagine any family _not_ being happy that their child was Chosen.

“Very much so. They were very proud of me. What about your family?” He asked cautiously, something must have prompted the question.

“They disowned me.”

Dirk tried to cover his shock. “I’m sorry, that must have been rough.”

She shrugged, “It was better than what would have happened if I stayed.”

Dirk didn’t exactly want to pry into such a statement, but he felt it would give him a better avenue to understand and guide her, so it was probably his duty to do so. “That sounds--grim. What would it have been like if you stayed?”

She sighed. “Well, Rolan found me after I ran away from a conversation with my all father’s wives and his mother about whether I’d prefer to be a first wife or an underwife, or go to the goddess as a priestess. It was my thirteenth birthday and they were planning this all out to happen within the next few months.”

Dirk tried to hide his grimace. “What was it like growing up Holderkin?”

“I never really fit in, too interested in stories, too adventurous, not meek enough for a girl child. Too spirited, too stubborn.” She shrugged. “I was glad to get out. What about you?”

“I was raised on a steading in the sector next to the one you were just in actually. Right along the Sorrows. My mother’s a Healer and my father’s a Bard who wondered in sick during a storm one day and a fell in love and stayed. I’m the oldest son, but I have three older sisters, in addition to two younger and a baby brother.Two of my sisters are married and live with their husbands on the farm and Silvia just got betrothed. I’ve got seven nieces and nephews. We’re all pretty close, but Silvia is the one I’m closest too, she’s a Healer. Were you close to any of your siblings?”

“I had a sister I was close to, Vrissa, but she doesn’t want anything to do with me now, and a brother who was killed by raiders when I was nine. Other than that I don’t miss any of them. Family wasn’t something loving back at the Holds, at least not for me. So what’s grounding and how do I learn it?”

“Let’s have breakfast first, then we’ll have our first lesson.”

Over the next week they focused on Gift lessons. Ahrodie and Rolan helped Dirk teach Talia to ground and center, and tested her to show her how she was off balance. They decided to focus on the Gift training for a week rather than going into towns to make judgements, the hope was that at the end of the week Talia would have a greater level of control over her Gift and her shields.

At last, she could ground and center reliably, and they were ready to head into the villages of the circuit.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rumors, falling into bed, smut.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, this chapter is smut. If you don't want to read smut you can skip everything past the first paragraph, I'll post a TLDR in the end notes

Dirk and Talia rode back from the village in heavy silence. It turned out that the rumors had preceded Talia to the sector. Everything had been fine until people heard “Herald Talia” and then they had gotten uneasy, almost all at once as murmuring broke out. Dirk didn’t need Talia’s Gift to know that the villagers hadn’t trusted her, or that Talia had been devastated to realize what was goingon.

They reached the new way station they would be staying in, and Talia spoke “I’ll get the four footers if you’ll do the inside chores?” Dirk agreed and proceeded to prepare the way station for inhabitation as Talia lead the mules and Companions into the stable.

He was just about to start dinner when Talia came in, she looked like she’d been crying. He put the foodstuffs done and went over to her and rubbed her shoulders as she took off the layers of winter gear. “I know it’s rough, little bird. I’m sorry you have to deal with the rumors even out here. Why don’t you warm up by the fire?” He sat down by the fire and waited for her to join him, dinner could wait.

He was surprised when she curled up half in his arms, but not unpleasantly so. He wrapped his arms around her and crooned a little to her. He was completely shocked when she kissed his cheek.

“Thank you for always looking after me,” she said

“It really is my pleasure.” And then he _meant_ to kiss her forehead, but she was wiggling and he ended up kissing her mouth instead. It would have been chaste enough, but she was kissing him back, and _Oh_ _Lady Astera_ was she kissing him back.

Dirk had firm rules about not getting involved with women, ever since _it_ had happened. But this was _Talia._ She was so warm in his arms, and just the right balance of soft flesh and hard muscle. And somehow he knew she would never hurt him like so many had in the past. So rather than pull away from her he kissed her back.

And then he couldn’t stop kissing her, not that he wanted to. Her hands started fumbling with his tunic, and it occurred to him that they they were both wearing _far_ too many clothes. He broke the kiss to pull his tunic off and then helped her with hers.

The chemise like shirts were next, but those were easy enough given that they had drawstrings at the neck and once those were untied they could be pushed down. Which gave Dirk unobstructed access to her breasts, and what glorious breasts they were too! She nibbled on his earlobe as he focused his attention on her nipples.

She was making the most delightful noises! Then she somehow managed to get both their breaches off and Dirk couldn’t wait any longer and joined with her.

When he was sated he realized with alarm that Talia was altogether still too put together. Well that wouldn’t do. He trailed kisses down from her mouth, down her throat, at the base of her collar bone, down her between her breasts and down her stomach. Finally he settled between her legs and got to work with his lips and tongue. Her hands weaving into his hair told him he was on the right track.Oh, if he’d thought her noises were delightful before they were nothing compared to now.

When he was done, Talia seemed to be melted into a puddle beside him and Dirk felt very pleased with himself. Maybe he should make her dinner too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TLDR: Rumors reached their circuit, Talia is upset, Dirk comforts her, they fall into bed.


	5. Midsummer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Talia celebrate Midsummer and meet with their courier

It was rather interesting to see, Dirk thought. Talia seemed to start to blossom now that her Gift was under control and she was getting the encouragement she needed. Dirk liked to think that some of the new found change was the attention and affection she was getting from him when they were alone together, but he didn’t know if that was really the case or not. Certainly after that first shock she seemed less affected by the townspeople’s mistrust in her, and just went about steadily proving them wrong.

Aside from the rumors, the circuit went pretty much text book perfect. They sorted out feuds, gave updates on the Queen’s laws, passed judgements, and all the things Heralds do without much excitement. Really, the most exciting thing about their circuit was that it contained so many printing houses, and they both took the opportunity to make buy sheet music (Talia also bought a number of books of poetry and tales that she had shipped back to the capital). Talia’s things—including My Lady--arrived at the resupply station unharmed and were loaded up onto the mules and the circuit continued much as it had before, with the days being routine and the nights being sensuous.

They heard a rumor that Kris had been snowed in all winter in a way station in the Forest of Sorrows, but weren’t sure how true it was. Certainly there were plenty of stories of the “Blizzard of the Century” from the North, Silvia even wrote a hilarious description of the horses being turned out in the pasture after it with the snow up to their belly. Rather than worry about Kris this rumor only seemed to remind Dirk that he was mad at him for his treatment of Talia.

When Midsummer’s Eve rolled around, Dirk decided he was going to go all out for the celebrations, especially since Talia had commented two things to him a week before: It was her birthing day, and she’d never properly celebrated either the holiday or her birthing day.It was difficult buying the supplies to properly surprise her, given that she was seldom far away from him in towns, but with Rolan and Ahrodie’s help he managed it.

They were taking Midsummer’s Eve and Day off, as the town they were seeing to was doing it’s own celebrations. Midsummer’s Eve dawned clear and Dirk decided to make breakfast before waking Talia up by peppering her face with kisses.

“Good morning love,” she said as she woke up and kissed him back.

“Happy Birthing-Day, little bird. I made you breakfast,” Dirk said.

She smiled at him, even after making love for six months her smile did things to him.“I suppose it would be ungracious to let it get cold,” she said and kissed him again.

“It’ll keep on the fire well enough,” Dirk said before kissing her back and falling onto the bedroll next to her.

They went swimming in the afternoon in the pond by the waystation, then sat down to the celebratory dinner Dirk had planned. He had picked up the food in town yesterday and just reheated in the waystation before setting it up as a picnic. It was a nice change from trail rations. A bottle of wine capped off the meal.

Then Dirk decided it was time for presents. He’d gotten Talia several, he couldn’t help the urge he was feeling to spoil her. “Oh Dirk, you didn’t have too!” She said when he presented her with the bundles wrapped in brown paper.

“But I did,” he said. “It’s your first proper birthing celebration and I needed to make it perfect.”

“Just being here with you is enough,” she said with another one of those smiles.

“Well, forgive me for wanting to spoil you,” he smiled at her and then looked down. “I haven’t felt this way before you know. I just want to give you the world. And I feel strongly, more strongly than I’ve ever felt about anyone other than Ahrodie. So since I can’t give you the world, let me give you a few presents?”

Talia smiled. “I feel strongly too. Like I do with Rolan.” Then she looked mischievous and said “So let’s see what you got me!” She pulled the paper off the first gift to reveal a leather bound book, flipping through it she saw it was a copy of the blue book of sheet music Dirk had that they often played from, she knew it was one of his favorite books of music and it was quickly becoming one of hers as well. “Dirk, thank you! This will make playing in the evenings so much easier.”

He just flushed in response and handed her the next present.

A week after Midsummer was the halfway point on the circuit. They were lounging in the grass outside their waystation waiting to meet up with a courier.

“So this marks the halfway point, little bird,” Dirk said. “From here on out you’re in charge.Thoughts?”

“I’m glad I got transferred over to you,” Talia said. “Not just because of the personal, though that too. But also because I think I was headed down a dangerous path with my Gift and I didn’t know how to stop it. I didn’t trust Kris enough to go to him for help—not least because he believed those rumors. I’m glad I have a mentor I can trust, not to mention one I love.”

“I love you too, little bird,” Dirk said.

In answer Talia opened a channel of rapport between them and shared gratitude, love, and more with him, everything she felt for him she shared. Dirk’s response was interrupted by the sound of a Companion approaching, and Talia shut down the channel between them.

Skif was concerned about Talia. Kris had described some pretty disquieting changes in her demeanor that led him to request she be transferred to Dirk. He was pleased to see her smiling and looking just as, if not more, confident than she was the day she left on her internship, whatever the problem had been, it seemed Kris had been right that Dirk could solve it. In fact Talia and Dirk looked pretty cozy it seemed, he’d have to try and figure that out.

“Skif!” Dirk called as Skif rode up. “They’ve got you riding courier now?”

“They do at that! And how are you two holding up? Glad to have an internee who can cook?” Skif replied dismounting.

Talia and Dirk laughed, yes, there was definitely something between them. “If you’ve been eating your own cooking you’ll probably want to eat with us tonight and let us cook for you?” Talia asked. “Dirk’s told me stories.”

“If I’m not in the way?”

“Of course not, come on, let’s see to Cymry and get the news from you.”

Skif took care of Cymry and imparted the new laws for them to memorize, it took a little while for Dirk to get everything down, but eventually he did (Talia had gotten everything quite quickly) and they moved on to personal news as they lounged around the fire pit outsideway station where they had opted to cook an outdoors dinner in the beautiful evening weather.

If Skif had suspected something was going on between Talia and Dirk he was certain of it by the time they finished their meal and Talia snuggled under Dirk’s arm as Skif continued to relay Heraldic gossip. “Oh, and I don’t know what you’ve heard, but Kris was snowed in for a month over the winter in the Forest of Sorrows, but he’s fine now, asked about you two actually.” Skif didn’t think he imagined the way Dirk stiffened when his partner was brought up, interesting. “Speaking of he sent a letter to you, Dirk. Let me know if you want me to post a reply. I can get it to Haven faster than the mail carriages, I’m sure, and from there it can go out to him in the field.” No, he wasn’t imagining it, Dirk looked decidedly unhappy at the mention of Kris, maybe even angry?

Dirk read Kris’ letter asking after him and Talia as anger surged up inside him. Quickly he penned a brief answer to Kris’ question regardingg Talia’s well being.

_Kris,_

_Talia is fine now. No thanks to you._

_Dirk_


	6. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dirk and Talia return to the Collegium

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is late and so short, I'm dealing with carpel tunnel in both wrists so writing has been interesting

The rest of the circuit past rather uneventfully, and before long Dirk and Talia headed back toward Haven. Talia was looking forward to assuming her duties as Queen’s Own, however Dirk was not as enthusiastic about their homecoming.

For one thing ,he was worried about whether Talia would still want him around when there were other options. Even though he had felt her love through her Gift when they shared a rapport he was worried that their relationship wouldn’t last when they were other distractions. He tried not to worry too much about this lest her Gift tell her he was brooding but it was difficult as they headed back to Haven.

: _Ahrodie, love, what do you think? Am I being silly?:_ He asked his Companion one day about a week out of the city.

 _:You’re not being silly but I don’t think you have anything to worry about, Chosen.:_ Ahrodie said. _:You felt the depth of her feelings, she’s not going to lose interest in you when someone new comes along. In fact I think you may do you lifebonded:_

 _:Really?:_ Dirk said. _:That seems extreme. I know we feel strongly for each other but a lifebond? Do you really think so?:_

_:Not only do I think so, but Rolan thinks so.:_

Dirk sat in silence as he thought.

Dirk’s concerns about Talia looking elsewhere were proved entirely unfounded when she asked if he wanted to move into her suite—unofficially—when they got back to the palace. “I don’t want to be alone, and by suite is bigger and has more privacy, so…”

Dirk hastily agreed and it was decided that he would just unpack into her suite and grab things from his room as needed.

They arrived back at the palace and Collegium, sent the mules off and took care of their Companions. As they were doing so Karen, Sherril, and Jeri showed up ready to whisk Talia away.

“Is Skif in?” Dirk asked the three women in residence. He’d already asked at the gate and been told Kris wasn’t in yet, he wasn’t sure if he was relieved or not that his oath brother wasn’t there.

“Yup,” said Jeri.

“Do you want to go see Skif while I catch up with these three?” Talia asked Dirk.

“I assume you want to catch up with your friends, so that would allow me to make myself scarce,” Dirk said and Talia nodded. “Would the four of you mind bringing my packs brought up as well? Since they’re going to the same place?”

Talia nodded, “Of course, and I’ll see you later tonight?”

Dirk kissed her chastely on the lips, “Definitely.”

“Well that was interesting, little centaur!” Keren said when the four women were alone in Talia’s tower suite.

Talia put on an air of false innocence, “Whatever do you mean?” She said as she started unpacking.

“You know very well what we mean!” Sherril said, laughing. “We were hoping for tales of epic romance and it looks like our hopes were not for naught!”

Talia smiled, “Let’s just say Dirk and I have settled into a _very_ comfortable relationship—and yes, he’s practically moving in—but he’s keeping his rooms just in case we want more space from each other.”

“We were also really curious about what the deal was with Kris,” said Jeri. “There are all sorts of theories of course, one theory is that you and Kris were lovers and one of you wanted to get married but the other didn’t—which one depends on who’s telling it. Another theory is that you _weren’t_ lovers, and Kris, used to women falling over their feet for him, didn’t take well to you being immune to his charms. A third theory is that you just got fed up with his arrogance and punched him.”

Talia felt a change in subject was in order. “Aren’tI supposed to check in with Elcarth?” She asked.

“He just needs to know you’re here,” Jeri sighed. “I’ll go sign you in.”

“I should probably get you a small feast from the kitchens,” Sherril said. “We’ve already eaten but I assume you haven’t.”

That left Talia alone with Keren, who wrapped her in a hug. “So why did you end up sent off to Dirk, little centaur?”

“I’m not sure. I know Kris didn’t trust me. He believed that awful Court rumor that I’d misused my Gift, even when I told him it wasn’t true. And my shields came down and I couldn’t go to him for help, it was awful.”


	7. A perfect punch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kris returns from his circuit

Dirk met with Elcarth and Kyril first the next day for what was anything but a routine debrief. He told them in detail the shape Talia had been in when she had arrived in his charge, and the damage Kris had (inadvertently perhaps) done with his lack of trust in her.

He went on to tell them of the failure of her shields and the lack of proper training she had received at the Collegium, before telling them how the rest of the circuit had gone. He could tell they were shocked to hear both how poorly her time with Kris had gone and of the deficiency in her training at the Collegium. They almost seemed to want to interrupt him, but held off until he had completed his report.

“I think it’s best if we don’t mention how badly the Collegium messed up with her Gift education,” Kyril said when Dirk was done.

“I agree,” said Elcarth. “Especially given the rumors, if it got out that she’d only been partially trained when she was put in Whites it would add fuel to them.”

“How are the rumors now?” Dirk asked.

“Here, they’ve died down. But that you encountered them out on circuit is worrying,” said Kyril.

“As is the report that Herald Kris believed them, either in whole or in part,” said Elcarth. “I had high hopes for him, but after this…Anyway, thank you for your report, you are dismissed.”

Talia meanwhile caught up with Selenay in the Queen’s office. There she heard about King Allessander’s offer of his son Ancar in marriage for Elspeth, and the Queen and Talia decided they would veto the Council vote if needed.

The Council meeting went much as anticipated, Talia let the Councilors make their case before adding her vote to the Queen’s and vetoing it.Then she ran off for her interview with Kyril and Elcarth.

Kris asked the guard at the Palace Gate if Dirk and Talia had checked in, and was pleased to hear that they had, three days ago, and the guard had noted Dirk had asked about him. He hoped Talia was doing better, maybe he’d be able to get to the bottom of what had been going on. Dirk’s note had been as short as usual and, not particularly helpful in that regard. He rode into the Collegia grounds and sent his mules offwith a guard before heading to the Companion’s stable, where he began to groom Tantris.

He’d finished grooming and was doing a quick clean on the tack when Dirk came in looking for him, his face unreadable.

“Dirk! How are you? How’s Ta—“ Kris was interrupted by a perfectly thrown punch as Dirk’s fist connected with his face resulting in a sickening crunch sound.

He landed flat on his back and quickly scrambled to his feet as blood dripped from his nose.

“Fuck! You just broke my nose!”

“HOW COULD YOU TELL HER THOSE LIES ABOUT HER? HOW COULD YOU _BELIEVE_ THEM?” Dirk bellowed at him.

Kris was rapidly trying to think of just _what_ Dirk was talking about. The “her” was probably Talia. What lies was Dirk talking about?

Just then a number of Companions came into the stable, including Ahrodie and Tantris, as well as Rolan, Kantor, and Cymry. They weaved their way in between the two Heralds and separated them. Ahrodie was nudging Dirk, attempting to calm him down. Tantris was standing protectively in front of Kris.

It looked like the Companions would prevent Dirk from physically attacking Kris, and Ahrodie seemed to be calming her Chosen down slightly. So when Dirk next spoke it was anguish Kris heard rather than anger. “How could you believe stupid Court rumors over the word of a _Herald_?” Dirk walked out without waiting for an answer just as Skif and Alberich ran in ready to interrupt.

By the time Kris had his interview with Kyril and Elcarth the next day the entire Collegium and most of the Palace had heard that Dirk had punched him and rumors ran wild. Most of the rumors correctly guessed that Talia was involved. Kris had figured out by now that she and Dirk were definitely involved romantically, but he didn’t see how that lead to a broken nose for him. All that was cleared up when he gave his report.

“Did you tell your internee any Court rumors about her?” Elcarth asked after Kris had finished his accounting.

“I—did—but that was just casual conversation.”

“And did you believe these rumors of conduct unbecoming a Herald even after she denied them?” Elcarth pressed on.

“I—guess—it’s hard to say.”

This time it was Kyril’s turn. “Did it occur to you that if the rumors were true her Companion would have repudiated her?”

Kris hung his head, ashamed, “No.”

Elcarth sighed, “Did it at any point occur to you to discuss your lack of faith in your internee with your Companion?”

Kris shook his head, now seeing how things had gotten as bad as they had with Talia and feeling a lot more understanding of Dirk’s anger toward him. “I really messed up here, didn’t I?”

“You did,” said Elcarth. “I had had you on the short list to replace me as Dean, but after this…. The Dean must believe in his students. The one smart thing you did was recognize your limitations and request she be sent to Dirk, but that should never have been necessary. I have your’s and Herald Dirk’s reports on justhow badly your bungling affected Talia and cannot in good conscience recommend you as a candidate to replace me.”


	8. Apologies

Kris sat leaning against Tantris in Companions’ Field. _:I’ve ruined everything, Tantris.:_

_:Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Chosen. You screwed up, you can wallow in self pity or you can fix it.:_

_:I don’t think Dirk wants to repair our friendship. I don’t think he wants to see my face ever again.:_

Kris could hear Tantris sigh mentally. : _Dirk is feeling protective of his lifemate, who according to Ahrodie sobbed into his arms that she shouldn’t be a of Herald—because of your mistrust of her. You saw how little confidence she had when she left you. Well Dirk had to put those pieces together and it hurts him a great deal that you let her get into such shape.:_

 _:Lifemate?:_ Kris asked.

_:Yes, Ahrodie and Rolan are sure.:_

_:No wonder he hates me.:_

_:It doesn’t help that this all stems from you choosing to believe Court rumors over a fellow Herald’s word. As far as Dirk is concerned you’ve shown your true colors of believing fellow highborns over a lowly born Herald. He’s taking that as a betrayal of your friendship. Speaking of highborns, you left Talia in a similar state to how Naril left Dirk. You’ve hated Naril since you had to pick up the pieces she left behind—well, right now Dirk isn’t feeling so friendly toward you after taking care of Talia.:_

_:Can I fix it?:_ Even to himself Kris’ mind voice sounded pathetic.

 _:I’m not sure. You can start by apologizing to Talia. You might want to let her read you with her Empathy, so she knows you’re sincere. Avoid Court and spend more time other Heralds, that at least will cut down on your temptation. And for goodness sake_ talk _to me when you have doubts. I could have easily told you Talia would never misuse her Gift.:_

Kris sighed and promised to do better from now on.

Dirk was in the suite he was sharing with Talia, idly going through some of the sheet music he’d bought on circuit. Talia was snuggled next to him on the couch reading, having finally finished with her duties for the day. There was a knock at the door to the suite. “I’ll get it little bird,” Dirk said as he disentangled himself from the couch.

Dirk was surprised to see Kris when he opened the door. “Er, I was wondering if I could talk to Talia? I believe I have some apologizing to her to do.”

Dirk didn’t think there was enough apologizing in the world to make up for what Kris had done, but he also acknowledged that it was Talia’s decision. He turned to look at her, and she nodded, “Let him in.”

Dirk stepped back and allowed Kris to enter, then he shut the door behind Kris (hopefully the combination of a shut door and the remote location of Talia’s room would keep any shouting that followed from being heard across the Collegium) and sat down next to Talia protectively. “If you think I’m leaving you alone with her you’re out of your mind.” Dirk said.

“No, it’s okay with me if you stay,” Kris said, looking at the floor.

Dirk had had a lot of experience with Kris, one could say he knew him fairly well. And Dirk had never seen Kris look like this. He looked ashamed, repentant. It was _almost_ enough to thaw Dirk’s feelings toward his oath brother. Almost. “Well, if you have something to say, you should say it,” Dirk said.

“Um, I’ve come to start to realize how gigantically I screwed up on your internship, Talia,” Kris said. “I should have known at once that those rumors were nonsense and never even brought them up to you, and once I did I should have believed you when you said they weren’t true. I’m sorry. I can’t undue the damage I did but please know that I am very sorry. Please use your Gift if you don’t believe how sorry I am.”

Talia closed her eyes, and then opened them and said. “Alright. I doubt I’ll be terribly inclined to trust you, but I can see you’re sorry.”

Part of Dirk wanted to make amends with Kris, but the rest was astonished that Talia was forgiving him that easily. “Really? He’s sorry? After the shape he left you in he’d better be a lot more than _sorry_. I’m sorry I ever called you by Oathbrother. How could you?”

Dirk probably would have continued expressing his displeasure at Kris but Talia laid a hand on his arm, and he understood what she wanted to tell him: It was her decision whether or not to forgive Kris. Alright, he could respect that, but he wasn’t going to trust Kris again not to put Courtiers over fellow Heralds, that was for damn sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. Also ask for an invite to the Valdemar Discord server I run with Leannmanderson

**Author's Note:**

> As always please leave kudos and comments and ask about our Valdemar Discord server!


End file.
